Prison Brew


This has been brewed in Her Majesty’s prisons since the 1850’s. They have also brewed “toilet wine” in her facilities. I learned this recipe from others when doin’ time at Her Majesties’ pleasure. The First batch will be bad, keep practicing.

Method – just don’t get busted

Fill sink half full of hot water, you can use cold water if you don’t have any hot. Put a few slices of bread in prison sock & ring it out in the water. You can leaves on crusts & throw in the heel also. Empty sock into a bin & do the same again until all the bread is gone. If you have an old vest you could use it instead of the sock & speed everything up. Now the water should be yellow. Get a prison jug & fill it with the yeasty water. Add the chopped apples & sugar to the jug, stir around with your hand. Pour the mix into a 2 litre bottle & put the lid on. Now you’re finished for the night. The next bit takes 2 weeks to do. Open & close the lid every 6 hours if the bottle is swollen to allow the gas to escape & leave the lid off for about 5 minutes. You should hear it fizz after the first day. Taste it after 2 weeks & if it tastes like cider it’s done. If not leave it for an extra week wrapped up in a towel behind a radiator. Make sure you check on it every 6 hours otherwise it will explode & your cell will stink! When the hooch is done, put the vest over the top of the bottle & use it as a sieve that will keep all the chunky bits out of the hooch. Pour into a prison jug; throw away the bits in the vest. Add the Ribena, drink what’s in the jug & you’re drunk! Bonus brew – white lightening Take your hooch & boil it in a kettle if you can get one. This makes White Lightening which is extra extra strong. It is also known as Moonshine!

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