Toasty Mouse 3

THE MC-CAKE When a drunken night falls on an empty stomach, I prepare the ultimate Man Cake – the McCake. You think it involves baking but Wolverine does not bake! Half a pack of McVitties (the big packet not the 99p loser pack), and a glass of milk. Microwave the milk for 1.5 minutes full power while you smash the McVitties with your fist in a cereal bowl. Pour in the hot milk, stir until almost cement consistency. If too porridgey add more biscuits until it hurts to stir. Enjoy. – Saulo

SMOKED PIZZA A group of us attempted to heat up frozen pizzas after a large night of boozing – forgetting that the oven had previously been used to cook a full hog-roast. The large deposits of fat in the bottom of the oven quickly heated up and filled the oven with smoke. Like a scene from backdraft, when the door was opened, the smoke sent us fleeing to the windows for air. We still ate the pizza obviously. – Don

CRISPS AND KETCHUP 2 packets of cheese and onion crisps, one pack of dry roasted nuts, two sachets of ketchup and a bowl. Break the crisps up into crumbs, add half the pack of nuts, then the ketchup and stir until you have a paste-like texture. Consume straight out of the bowl or in between two buttered slices. Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it. It’s making my mouth water now just thinking about it. – Ollie

#FRIDGEBUFFET Extremely expensive ham that I’m going to be in trouble for eating. Iberico chorizo. Hummus. Naan. Blueberries. Palo Cortado. – Rocket and Squash

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